Spring Break 2013...woo hoo

Remember back in college, when spring break meant some exotic locale with your girlfriends? Sitting in the sun, sipping cocktails and checking out cute boys from other schools. Not so much anymore. These days it means 10 days off of school for the kiddos and a desperate search for activities to fill the days. I've been in communication with all Jack's friends' parents. We are researching, planning and organizing every day down to the minute. Park trips, playdates, days out of town. The library, a garden, a wilderness park. How can we keep our 3-4 year olds busy and active, while maintaing our sanity? The answer is pack mentality. Surviving is always easier in a group. We not only provide lunches and snacks and clothing changes, we provide friends for our kids and for ourselves. The kids are happy to be together in a new setting and the moms are happy to have adults to spend the time with. Adjusting to a new routine is exhausting for the kids and for myself. Instead of the usual...up, breakfast, school, nap, lunch, pick up from school..etc, we are now running full throttle. We are barely stopping by the house to let the little one nap before we are back in the car headed for the next activity. Tonight the hustle and bustle of spring break was literally visible on my children. Food smeared all over the babies clothing because I fed him at the park and forgot a bib; dried, green snot on my sons sleeve which he was using as a kleenex; the crusted remnants of lunch and snacks on both faces and dirt in every conceivable orofice. They each fell asleep in the car at different points on very short drives and so I was the mom with dirty children, dragging them half asleep from activity to activity. We got home tonight after 6pm, and I threw one child, mid tantrum, into the shower and shoved more food at my youngest while running his bath. I scrubbed one and then the other, hit the tv power button and ran my dog out to pee. Came back, made dinner, put the baby to sleep, fed Jack, read to him, and put him to bed. After that came my meal, the dogs meal, laundry, cleaning the kitchen and finally 14 hours after waking up...a shower. I am exhausted and I am only 3 days into spring break. I still have an Easter meal to plan, a rental table to pick up, a baby gift to purchase and shower to attend, Easter baskets to put together, eggs to dye and in laws visiting. I use to look forward to spring break...and now I wonder whose cruel idea it was to call it a break.

mama pride

I love making people laugh or at least thinking I do, but at the end of the day sometimes you just gotta put a little truth out there. I am so incredibly proud of my children. My oldest son is fun and charming and smart and independent and confident and displays empathy at a very young age. He shares and is a good friend and cares about people and is an all around amazing little boy. My youngest son is happy and smiley and goes willingly to friends and family. He is delighted and delightful and flirts with strangers for the pleasure of their smile. I hope that I have in some small way contributed to them being so wonderful, but I think I was also really lucky. I cannot wait to see them grow and develop and I feel truly lucky to be a part of their lives.

Jackisms

My son Jack is funny.  Not in the "isnt that cute" way...but laugh out loud, seriously funny. He is quick witted and he just "gets it". As someone who considers herself very funny, I take tremendous pride and an incredible amount of credit in his comedic genius. I have decided to write down some of my favorite Jackisms, so they can be immortalized on this blog.  This post will be edited and updated as necessary:


- "Mom, I accidentally peed in the bathtub, but dont worry I have it all under control"- upon returning from a trip to use the toilet, not while seated in the bathtub which some may envision.

- "i just washed my hands in the toilet mom, but there was no pee in it"- after me asking him to wash his hands and get all the glue off.

-"Jack, Im getting really tired of your sassy words". -me
"Mom, Im getting really tired too"

-"Jack if I made you chicken nuggets, so you think you would eat those?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because thats the kind of mens I am."

-"Jack, do I look beautiful today?" - my mom
"You will look beautiful tomorrow Mimi"- Jack

"Jack, please share some of that snack with your brother"
"Mom, I'm not really all that interested in sharing with him"

"Mom, did you know duck and truck sound the same?"
"Thats right Jack, they do. Can you think of any other words that rhyme with truck?"
"Fu** rhymes with truck, mom"
"Um...yep it sure does"

"Does anyone know what happens to snake when it gets older?" - man at children's concert asking the audience
"Ummm, uummmm, ummm, no. But i bet they don't get married"- Jack

who brought the naked kid?

Several months ago, we attended a birthday party for one of our neighbors children. It was a party at their house and the kids were free to roam from room to room. Jack set up camp in the back bedroom, where a more involved parent was reading stories to the children huddled in all corners of the room. I told him I'd be near the food table (obviously) and started chatting up another parent. I checked on Jack once, and secure in the knowledge that he was happy and safe, I got a plate and settled in to enjoy the junk food. 20 minutes or so later, my husband asked me where Jack was. "Oh in the back bedroom, listening to stories" I replied. "Nope" he said, "I just checked". I assured him that Jack was somewhere in the house and we split up to find him. A few minutes later my husband returned with our prodigal son with words I'll never forget. "Um...I found Jack.. naked in the bathtub." Yes, our son had meandered away from story hour to use the potty. While in the bathroom, he decided to remove all his clothes and get into the bathtub. I'm not sure if he was about to take a shower or was just trying out the facilities but he wasn't able to take the next step, because my husband had found him. I'd like to say that he found him just in time, but clearly just in time, would have been before the removal of clothes. He didn't have an answer as to why he took his clothes off and I don't think we'll ever know as its a distant memory now. Obviously, we asked him to keep his clothes on at all future parties but the memory of that moment will always make me laugh and provide plenty of ammunition in the future!

Sleep Update

It turns out, unfortunately for my tiny boy, that 4 days into sleep training, Nicky's first tooth pooped through and he caught his big brothers cold. He has been a miserable, hot mess and to make matters worse, we are continuing with the sleep training. I mean, what can you do? If you stop, you risk losing all the ground you have gained...however small. I go in, offer the paci and rub his back for a minute...and then he's on his own. I'm sure I seem creul, but what can I really do for him? He needs rest, tylenol and a constant pacifier in his mouth. I'm hoping that in a few days, he begins to feel better. There is nothing sadder than seeing your normally happy baby, so very unhappy.

Riding the sleep train

I did not sleep train my oldest son. I went through the first year of his life in a dream like state, subsisting on catnaps and coffee. I truly couldn't bear to hear him cry and so I ran to his every whimper. The truth is, he was probably annoyed. Like "why does this chick keep coming in when I roll over?" We would sometimes rise at 4:45 for the day and I would be totally on board. The truth is....enough coffee can make anything tolerable. And so, with my second son...I have fallen into the same pattern. Run to him at every cry...although in my defense, he and my oldest are sharing a room. So, it is more about keeping the oldest asleep then about setting some sleep boundary. It wasn't until my pilates instructor recently informed me that I would not lose the last 10 pounds of weight until I slept a consistent 6-8 hours a night, that I made the decision to sleep train. Call me selfish, call me vain..you'd be right. A sister can only wear maternity clothes for so long. So after juggling people around, in order to keep the night owl isolated, sleep training has begun. Night one, went as expected...lots of crying and wailing until exhausted, sleep came. And that was me. No really, there were long stretches of crying and I swear I could hear him say "mommy...please come to me". It literally killed me. My youngest son, is the only male in my house that loves to cuddle. Part of his sleep problem is that he wakes up, realizes he's alone and cries out until you come hold his hand. Once he can feel you, he falls immediately into a peaceful sleep. Knowing that he just wants to be near me, makes sleep training so much harder. I feel like I'm totally alienating him and I'm desperately afraid that this will turn him into a non cuddler. He will shut that part out, because sleep training will have taught him that no one cares to come to him when he's lonely. I try to remember what my best friend said. "Its better for them to get the rest." I know this is true and I deeply appreciate the extra hours of sleep I am getting, but the guilt that fills me when I turn off the monitor will haunt me in my dreams.
The second night of sleep training was better than the first. He only woke up three times. Twice he cried and I went in, gave him his pacifier and after a brief whimper, he went back to sleep. The last time he woke was to eat. This may not seem like sleep training, but if you knew what the last 7 months have been like, you would see this is a MAJOR improvement. Night three has been the worst yet. Not only night 3, but day 4. Its as if, he now knows the deal and he's not going down without a fight. Every time I set him in his crib to nap (which he has always done happily and willingly) he has cried and grabbed onto my hand. He settles down after a few minutes, but it isnt the gentle, peaceful lull into nap that he has previously enjoyed. Last night he woke up many times and when crying didn't bring me back, he decided to just stay up and jibber jabber to himself. While this was cute to hear, it made me so sad. Is he so lonely, that he is keeping himself company? Imagining he is jabbing to another baby perhaps? Needless to say, we were both exhausted today and neither of us is looking forward to tonights festivities. If its anything like last night, I may just need to suck it up, buy bigger pants and enjoy a life of co sleeping with my cuddle bug.

This crazy life belongs to me. Take my workaholic husband that can drive me batty, my 3 year old with enough energy to light a small village and my 7 month old who thinks night time is the right time to party, add in,4 people living crammed into a 2 bedroom condo and the 10 pounds of baby weight I cannot lose and you've got yourself a situation comedy. I feel at times that I am  going insane, but the truth is, these people and this life are my foundation. They keep me focused and loved and laughing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Ok...except for the 10 pounds and the condo ;)

Livin a paci free life

Yes, I was the mom that still let her 3 year old have a pacifier, but only at night...ok and for rest time and to calm him down during a tantrum. I am perfectly comfortable with the fact that people frown upon this, give me strange glances in public and that baby books and dentists alike proclaim this is bad for the child. I dont care. If my son needed a soother and the paci did this for him...then so be it. I'm positive he will still be a well adjusted child and that we would have needed braces anyway. If I'm wrong, then I'm happy to pay for his therapy later in life. This being said, I told him that at 31/2, big boys give away their pacifiers. We have been talking about this for some time in order to prepare him for the inevitable. I said that it was his choice, he could either drop the paci's at the dentist for a "prize" or stuff the paci's inside a bear at the Build-a-Bear store and sleep with them. He chose the former and then happily forgot everything I said until I brought it up again. This past week, my son turned 31/2. The night before the big day, I reminded him that it was his last night and prepared for a major melt down. Instead, he told me he would be giving them up that night and slid off into a peaceful slumber paci-free. Had I known this would be the way things would go, I would have done it sooner. I congratulated myself on being an amazing mom, patted myself on the back for knowing when the right time was and went off to bed. The next night, my son asked me for a paci and I gently reminded him that he was now 31/2 and living a paci free life. He seemed secure in the knowledge that this was his new life and went to sleep with no other questions. Once again, I smugly went on my merry way imagining the kudos I would be receiving when this tale went viral. The offers I would get to lecture and the advice columns I would inevitably write entitled "What YOU are doing wrong, that I did right".  Yes, I would be a legend, celebrated the world over by weary moms. Then last night happened. My overly tired, overly sugared son lost his bananas. Having spent the day at a birthday party and pizza party, his poor, exhausted little mind just could't fathom another night away from his beloved mouth candy. He begged for it, cried for it, yelled and screamed for it and I almost caved. But after remembering my new, fictitious life as supermom, I knew I needed to hold firm. I offered hugs, back patting, songs and finally to lie with him until he fell asleep. None of it worked. Nope, like a junkie jonsin for his next fix, he cried and begged until desperate he fell asleep while quietly whimpering the word "paci" over and over to himself. My husband, checking on him later, said that our son was moving his mouth, in his sleep, as though he was sucking on a pacifier. I am nervous for tonight. Not sure which way things will go. I truly believe we are in for more meltdowns, prepared for things to get worse before they get better. I am now thinking that the therapy I will pay for later in life will come as a result of taking the paci away instead of letting him have it for too long. Who knows, maybe he would have started a new trend? College guy sucking on a pacifier, the way rave kids suck on glow sticks. It could work!