Livin a paci free life

Yes, I was the mom that still let her 3 year old have a pacifier, but only at night...ok and for rest time and to calm him down during a tantrum. I am perfectly comfortable with the fact that people frown upon this, give me strange glances in public and that baby books and dentists alike proclaim this is bad for the child. I dont care. If my son needed a soother and the paci did this for him...then so be it. I'm positive he will still be a well adjusted child and that we would have needed braces anyway. If I'm wrong, then I'm happy to pay for his therapy later in life. This being said, I told him that at 31/2, big boys give away their pacifiers. We have been talking about this for some time in order to prepare him for the inevitable. I said that it was his choice, he could either drop the paci's at the dentist for a "prize" or stuff the paci's inside a bear at the Build-a-Bear store and sleep with them. He chose the former and then happily forgot everything I said until I brought it up again. This past week, my son turned 31/2. The night before the big day, I reminded him that it was his last night and prepared for a major melt down. Instead, he told me he would be giving them up that night and slid off into a peaceful slumber paci-free. Had I known this would be the way things would go, I would have done it sooner. I congratulated myself on being an amazing mom, patted myself on the back for knowing when the right time was and went off to bed. The next night, my son asked me for a paci and I gently reminded him that he was now 31/2 and living a paci free life. He seemed secure in the knowledge that this was his new life and went to sleep with no other questions. Once again, I smugly went on my merry way imagining the kudos I would be receiving when this tale went viral. The offers I would get to lecture and the advice columns I would inevitably write entitled "What YOU are doing wrong, that I did right".  Yes, I would be a legend, celebrated the world over by weary moms. Then last night happened. My overly tired, overly sugared son lost his bananas. Having spent the day at a birthday party and pizza party, his poor, exhausted little mind just could't fathom another night away from his beloved mouth candy. He begged for it, cried for it, yelled and screamed for it and I almost caved. But after remembering my new, fictitious life as supermom, I knew I needed to hold firm. I offered hugs, back patting, songs and finally to lie with him until he fell asleep. None of it worked. Nope, like a junkie jonsin for his next fix, he cried and begged until desperate he fell asleep while quietly whimpering the word "paci" over and over to himself. My husband, checking on him later, said that our son was moving his mouth, in his sleep, as though he was sucking on a pacifier. I am nervous for tonight. Not sure which way things will go. I truly believe we are in for more meltdowns, prepared for things to get worse before they get better. I am now thinking that the therapy I will pay for later in life will come as a result of taking the paci away instead of letting him have it for too long. Who knows, maybe he would have started a new trend? College guy sucking on a pacifier, the way rave kids suck on glow sticks. It could work!